THE CYCLE OF DISCONNECTION
We’re at a tipping point. It’s up to us to choose where we go from here.
Sometimes, when my baby girl looks up at me, I wonder what I’ll tell her about this time.
Will I tell her that she was born during an era when people were more focused on scrolling on ‘social’ media than actual connection? When we spent more time scrolling through AI-generated content than reading actual, real ideas?
Should I skip the part where our self-worth is still - despite everything we know about social media and its mental health impact - being measured in likes and ‘engagement’?
Is this our legacy?
How can we change it before it’s too late?
This is where we are.
We’re glued to small screens, scrolling around like zombies. Mindlessly, endlessly scrolling.
We can spend an hour on our phones without any real recollection of what we did, or any connection to how it made us feel.
Instead of creating and sharing the real, raw and potent truth about who we are, why we’re here, and what it means for ourselves and each other, we’re creating, competing and comparing.
It’s a performance.
It’s a perfection contest.
It’s a game of hide and pretend.
The truth is: our addiction to online ‘connection’ is killing our humanity.
We’re lonelier than ever (1 in 4 of us, in fact). We’re more anxious than ever (1 in 3 of us). We’re exhausted (all of us).
We’re exhausted because so much of what we’re experiencing online isn’t real.
I think about this as a cycle of disconnection. When we create for validation, we compare, compete, pretend, perfect. The spiral of performing to prove our worth and creating surface-level content goes on and on.
I’ll let you in on a secret.
Recently, I’ve been approached by some hugely successful creators and influencers who have shared these exact feelings. We’re talking “best-selling”, “award-winning”, TED speakers, founders, and community builders.
You know the types. And yet, behind all the hustle, hype and success we see and hear from them online, behind all the content they’re creating and churning out every single day, behind all the likes and comments and book deals and talks on stages and TV, they’re feeling lost, confused, and disconnected to themselves.
Here’s what I’m hearing:
“I’m trying to figure out why I’m so passionate about what I do and why I’m the best person to do this work.”
“I’m feeling lost. What am I actually doing and where am I going?”
“I don't know what to do with my life. And I don't know what to do next, or what I like doing.”
“What’s my niche? What is unique to me? I feel like I’m not saying anything different.”
“I'm at that point now when I just want to be able to make sense of the noise and just have clarity on who I am and my story.”
In the race to be seen, heard and “liked” online they’ve forgotten who they are. They’ve forgotten how to be themselves.
As an entrepreneur running storytelling-focused companies, I’ve been living online for over 10 years - sometimes sharing my own content, sometimes watching from the sidelines.
But let me tell you this: I’ve never experienced anything on this scale.
We’re in a crisis of meaning. Our souls have burnt out. The more conversations I have, the more I pay attention and listen to what’s really happening, the more I feel this crisis growing.
In the words of Molly Crabapple in her open letter about the issues with AI-generated content, “tech is not supposed to be a master tool to colonise every aspect of our being. We need to reevaluate how it serves us.”
We’re at a tipping point. It’s up to us to choose where we go from here.
In summary, this is where we find ourselves.
In a world that wants you to think less, think and feel more. Be stingy with your attention, be obsessive about your intentions.
In a system designed to separate us, get closer. Reach out. Even if it feels awkward. Especially if it feels awkward.
In a society that profits from your attention, fight to focus more on what matters. Retrain your brain. Spend more time looking up than you do down. It’ll feel uncomfortable at first. Let it.
This is how we find ourselves.
Shakily, truthfully, bravely. It’s time to choose ourselves.
Welcome to your map back to meaning, and your map back to yourself.
In this first series, I’ll share everything I’ve learned about finding your map back to meaning. We’ll get real, we’ll get candid, and we’ll connect with your creativity in ways your soul is craving. It’ll be practical, actionable, and a respite from the generic, surface-level content you’re used to seeing online. Promise.